


Two Weddings and a Funeral

by Shadowy_Dumbo_Octopus



Series: Brockin' and Rollin' [6]
Category: Venom (Comics)
Genre: AU of the Cates run where things make sense, Alternative Universe - Canon Is Dead, Awkward Conversations, Best Man Flash, Cookies, Dylan is too but he's in a relationship with his PC for now, Eddie Is A Wonderful Husband, Eddie and Mary are Disaster Bi Sibling Solidarity, F/F, Fluff, Happy Venom Symbiote, Idk fam, Lesbian Character, Marriage Proposal, Mary Brock Lives And Is A WLW, Mary Meets Venom, Mary Needs A Drink After She Meets Venom, Multi, Other, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Weddings, a bit of angst, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-11-01 10:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17865476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowy_Dumbo_Octopus/pseuds/Shadowy_Dumbo_Octopus
Summary: Three stories about the Brock siblings.Chapter 1: Mary.Chapter 2: Eddie.Chapter 3: Dylan.





	1. Mary

Mary Brock grinned widely as she sat in front of the mirror in her bedroom. Something was fluttering in her chest, like a butterfly charged with electricity.

“Excited for your big day?” one of her bridesmaids, Emma, grinned back as she jabbed another bobby pin into her hair, blond like her mother's.

Mary gently tilted her head from one side to the other; shaking it was out of the question until all the bobby pins were in place and the intricate, curly, braided updo was at last secured.

“Nah,” she winced as another pin pulled on her hair a little. “I just wish my father were alive to see this. He'd throw a fit.”

The image of Carl Brock having to watch his non-Catholic daughter's lesbian town hall wedding with a non-Catholic woman whom she knew he would despise with his whole blackened husk of a heart was…

It was _delicious._

She was almost sorry that the bastard died before she could rub it in his face. Almost.

Emma smirked knowingly, and reached for a mirror.

“Well, I'm done,” she announced, holding it up so that Mary could see the back of her head.

The updo was like a braid curled up into a neat bun, framed by Mary’s curled golden locks and expertly adorned with pearl-tipped pins. Emma even managed to weave a few flowers in there!

To put it shortly, it was stunning, and Mary was suddenly hit by the weight of the whole situation. She was getting married! To Jess! Officially! To her best friend in college and girlfriend since then! That wonderful, sweet, delightfully kooky ginger-haired fireball whose insane cooking skills have somehow made her begin liking spinach and who painted one of the walls of the room they were currently sitting in, decorating it with flowers and patterns and woodland animals and various constellations they liked to point out together as they sat by the window on clear nights! That very same Jess!

“Awww,” Suzanne, another bridesmaid and Mary’s friend from work, threw her a pack of tissues as she furiously wiped her eyes. “Come on, girl, get it together! We can't do makeup on puffy eyes.”

Mary laughed, blowing her nose. “I know, I know,” she said, accidentally stabbing herself with a perfectly manicured nail. _“Fuck._ I mean, it's a lot to take in. I'm just emotional, that's all.”

Colette stood up from the bed and walked up to hug her. The other women in the room followed suit.

“You cry all you want, girl,” she told her, brushing her hair from her face. “You should've seen how I bawled before my own wedding. Took my sister forever to clean me up!”

“Half an hour,” Hannah, Colette’s younger sister (though not young enough for her hair to remain greyless) chipped in. “I had to completely redo her make-up! Almost didn't make it, so we did.”

Suzanne winced, her grip on her bag tightening noticeably. She was the designated make-up artist of Team Mary; Team Jess (who was in the other room) had Olivia, her girlfriend. “Please cry yourself out before I do your make-up.”

Mary punched her shoulder playfully, her eyes dry and her skin only a little bit reddened.

“I'll be good,” she promised. “Now, paint me like one of your French girls.”

~~~

They weren't allowed to see each other in their dresses before the wedding - that was one of the few traditions Mary insisted on. Her past self thought that it would be oh so exciting, but her present self would've torn someone apart with those pointy nails of hers just for one glance at her fiancée.

She was nervous as, if you excuse her French (which she was actually fluent in) _fuck._

They arranged it so that Jess would wait by the desk and Mary would come through the door and they'd sign everything together. They even had matching fountain pens, a wedding gift from Jess’s cousin. The ink was blue instead of black because it was their shared favourite colour.

“You can pull it off better, though,” Jess had said once, tucking a flower behind Mary’s ear. “You look gorgeous in everything.”

As with all disaster wlws, it took them a few years and a lot of pining to get together. They were roommates in Trinity College of Dublin (Mary picked it solely because it was far away from her father) and ended up getting along like a housefire from day one. Something about opposites attracting and star-crossed STEM and art students who only made it because Mary finally gathered enough guts to buy Jess a giant bouquet of roses on graduation day.

And there they were. Getting married and stuff.

Jess’s mother almost had a heart attack - the good kind - when they told her, and immediately contacted the friend of a friend of a friend to take care of the cake. She was lovely like that, Mary mused as she sat in the car, her wedding dress all poofed up around her. It took one word about her family to make the older woman pretty much adopt her even without the necessity of marrying into the Armstrong family. Heck, Mary would probably still be invited to family dinners if she and Jess broke up.

Speaking of family…

“Are you okay?” Eddie, her brother, asked from the front seat. He flew over all the way from New York, borrowed suit and all, on their invitation.

Mary nodded, fidgeting with the hem of her dress, focusing on every little thread to avoid looking him in the eye.

She had left him.

He was her younger brother, her family, her responsibility, and she left him in their father's clutches as soon as she received the university acceptance email. She had fled to save her own skin without even considering the fate of the child, barely a teenager, she was leaving behind.

Heck, it wouldn't be half as bad if she still kept in touch, but nope. She just cut all the ties, deleted all the numbers, erased all the traces of where she went...

She had left Eddie alone. Abandoned him.

And even though they reconnected via Facebook about a year prior, she still hasn't apologised, dodging the topic as if it was a bullet.

“Are you sure?” he asked. He was so different, but then again this was the first time she was seeing him in real life since she was eighteen. He was a mountain of a man with eyes like their mother and hair like their mother; an old lady at the airport had mistaken them for identical twins at first. With his short hair and a well groomed beard, he really was good looking. And nice. And funny. And intelligent, yet still dumber than sin.

Completely not like the monster she had read about.

_Venom._

_The Demon of San Francisco._

She shouldn't have left him alone. She should've taken him with her somehow, far from Carl Brock and the Hell they had for a house.

Heck, she even tried to rectify that mistake with Dylan, her half-brother who she wasn't aware existed until the news about their father's death finally reached her. She wanted him to fly over, live with them; Jess had said that it would be fine, that they could even convert her workshop into a spare bedroom.

She tried and tried to connect, reform the bonds she shouldn't have broken, sent Dylan a wedding invitation and offered to pay for the ticket without realising that May was finals time for high schoolers.

She was a horrible sister.

A large, warm hand rested on top of hers, pulling her out of her increasingly gloomy thoughts. She looked up, her stormy blue-green eyes meeting Eddie's identical ones. He was leaning out of his seat.

“This is your wedding day, Mary,” he told her quietly, calmingly. “Whatever is ruining it for you, let it go.”

She gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand reassuringly, though she wasn't sure who exactly she was reassuring. 

“We have a lot to talk about,” she said, voice sounding strangely hollow to her own ears.

“I know. And we will talk all you want, but later.” His eyes were so soft, so gentle. How could such a man be a human-eating monster? “Focus on your wedding, alright? This is your big day; don't let anything ruin it for you.”

Such a good man - how could it be possible that he had the blood of Carl Brock running through his veins? How could he be so kind after she abandoned him? Did he not hate her?

“Later,” Mary confirmed, giving his hand one last squeeze before letting go. He was right - moping around would do her no good; she was a bride, goddamnit, and today was her big day! She would go there, say all the vows, sign all the papers, kiss her wife, and make her way to the restaurant where the reception was. And she would not, under any circumstances, cry!

~~~

The car parked by the town hall, and Eddie helped her get out. The sun was out (an oddity in Ireland) and the birds were singing among the birches planted around the building.

Holding her breath and steadying her racing heart, Mary opened the door.

Now, she liked to think that she was good with promises; once she gave her word, she tended to stick by it no matter what.

In this case, however, there wasn't even room for discussion.

As soon as she laid her eyes on her wife-to-be, standing there in her beautiful white gown decorated with intricate silver swirls; her hair loose and shimmering like fire; her beautiful, freckled face lighting up as soon as their eyes met, looking as radiant as the sun, Mary couldn't help it...

She burst into tears.

~~~

The ceremony wasn't really what Eddie experienced, though that was on the account of his only experience with weddings being of the church variety. Still, it was lovely, and both Mary and Jess looked positively stunning as they recited their vows and signed all the necessary paperwork before, as if to match her wife, Jess began to cry from joy as the woman behind the desk pronounced them as officially married.

 **“It was beautiful,”** a familiar voice sounded in his head as black slime oozed out of his wrist to hold his hand. **“Marriage is beautiful.”**

He smiled, discreetly bringing it to his lips before it vanished again. They were at the reception venue, about half an hour after the main meal, and in the process of sending Dylan the pictures they took while he bitched about his IT final.

“I know, Love,” he said, pocketing his phone and popping a macaroon into their mouth. Then, having realised that he spoke out loud, he switched to thoughts. _‘Still, not quite as beautiful as what we have, no?’_

Laughter lit up their shared brainscape, sending warm tingles down their spine. **“Not as beautiful, no, but as close as it gets.”**

They watched, glass of champagne in hand, as the brides danced away to the music, seeming to float and flow as their gowns moved around them. To think that the blonde one was his big sister…

Mary caught his eye across the room and, quickly untangling herself from Jess’s embrace and expertly dodging her mother-in-law carrying yet another tray of baked goods, approached them.

“Where's your fiancé?” she asked, frowning a little. “You haven't even introduced them, is something wrong?”

 **“Was that what was bothering her in the car?”** the symbiote wondered as Eddie bit their lip. Oh boy, here we go.

“Can we talk in private?” he asked, almost begged, looking around the crowded room. No, this won't do. People would freak out if they saw Venom, and he was NOT going to ruin his sister's wedding like that. “Like, _very_ private?”

She looked even more concerned, but gave him a slight nod and gestured towards the hallway.

They somehow snuck out unnoticed by Jess’s massive extended family and found a seemingly unused storage room. It was open, and Mary let them in before closing the door.

It self surreal, standing there with their ears still ringing from the music and without the suspicious glare of Jess’s mother burning into their very flesh at any given moment.

“She's a bit of a mother hen,” Jess had laughed apologetically at one point. “Mary told her about your dad and now she might not trust you because you're a guy, but give her some time and she'll come around.”

But all that aside, it was just the two Brocks and one alien, standing opposite each other in a cramped and a little dark storage room, looking at each other as awkwardness hung so thick in the air that one could cut it up and serve it instead of the wedding cake.

Eddie took a deep breath. “See, about my fiancé,” he began.

“I'm sorry I left you with our father,” Mary began at the same moment.

They fell back into silence, and the awkwardness thickened.

“It's okay,” Eddie said.

“It's not,” Mary replied, hands curling up into fists. “It's shouldn't have left you alone with that monster, should have taken you with me, should have stayed in touch with you, but I didn't because I was a selfish cowardly bitch who could only think about herself!”

Oh no.

“Just like when we were kids and I kept blaming you for our mom's death even though you were a child and had nothing to do with it!”

**“Eddie! She's-”**

_‘Oh my god, she's going to cry!’_

They hugged her tightly, silently begging their big sister **(in law)** to keep her cool. If they made the bride cry, all hell would break loose with Jess’s mother at the lead.

“Shhh, you're okay,” Eddie tried to reassure her as best as he could, what with the gentle tone thing, the comforting back rub thing, and all the other things he was never good at.

_‘Love, you're a good comforter. Help me out.’_

The symbiote shrugged mentally, offering no help whatsogoddamnever.

Sending them a mental death glare, Eddie began to talk, saying the first things he could think of regardless of whether or not they made sense.

“You're okay. You've done good. You were smart for leaving. Please don't be sorry. Fuck, I did the same thing with Dylan. Just fucking left him as soon as I graduated high school. It's not your fault. I'm glad that you left. We’re - fuck - _I'm_ not angry about you being angry about mom. We were kids. It's okay. Dear god, please don't cry. It's okay. We - _I_ don't blame you. It's okay. Please stop digging your nails into ou- I mean into _my_ shoulder.”

She let go of them instantly, pulling away to look up (and up and up) at her little brother with, thankfully, dry eyes.

And, to Eddie's unending relief, she smiled.

“We're both disasters,” she giggled, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

They smiled back.

“It runs in the family,” the symbiote said with Eddie's voice, and Eddie didn't deny it. Taking over their vocal cords again, he placed a hand on Mary’s shoulder and said with all the sincerity he could muster:

“I'm glad to have you back as a sister.”

Her smile widened, blue-green eyes sparkling with joy and relief.

“I'm glad to have you back as a brother, too,” she replied, and then frowned again. “But what about your fiancé? I haven't even seen photos of them on your Facebook!”

Ah, there it was. Eddie inhaled slowly.

“Promise that you won't scream.”

Mary was good with promises, and to her credit she did manage to keep that one as black goo surged around her little brother, enveloping him completely as the resulting creature grew and grew, white eyes opening up and _definitely too many teeth_ grinning in a _definitely too wide grin_ and oh my god what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the f-

 **“We,”** the Demon of San Francisco said, **“are Venom.”**

Mary stared. She stared, her brilliant scientific brain that landed her a job as a chemical engineer desperately trying to figure out the situation, giving up, and just pulling the safety brake to grab a quick drink.

She opened her mouth-

“Please don't scream,” Eddie's voice begged her. “We're not the monster some newspapers paint us as. We only ever ate the bad guys, and we don't eat them anymore if we can help it. **Unless they're** **_really_ ** **bad and had it coming.** Yep. Please don't be scared. This… this is them. My fiancé. My Other.”

Oh.

Hmm.

So…

“So…” she began, voice trembling just a little. “This….thing-”

 **“Alien,”** Venom corrected.

“Alien, sorry, is your boyfriend?”

They shook their head.

 **“Our** \- I mean their grasp on gender is… ehh” they made a vague gesture with their _giant fucking claws._ “I just call them my Other. They/them.”

“Your Other,” Mary repeated, and the creature nodded. “Edward, you're dating Venom.”

“No, the two of us are Venom together. I'm dating the symbiote who makes Venom happen.”

Okay, this was fucking _nuts._ Mary pulled up a stool, brushed some dust off it, and sat down.

“Edward,” she tried again, “you're in a romantic relationship with an alien who turns you into a creature capable of biting off a man's head.”

Venom nodded.

“Have you gone nuts?”

Venom shook their head.

“Have _I_ gone nuts?”

**“Doesn't seem like it.”**

“Oh, okay.” She took a couple of deep, deep calming breaths, closed her eyes, counted to ten, opened them, saw that Venom was still there, and sighed. “Are you at least happy together?”

The symbiote peeled off Eddie's face, exposing a wide smile.

“More than you can imagine,” he said, and sounded like he meant it, so Mary stood up and held out her hand.

“Nice to meet you then, Eddie's Other,” she tried to smile as Venom's large and surprisingly warm hand shook hers. “As long as you make my brother happy, I'm happy too.”

Then, Venom pulled her into a hug, lifting her up high into the air so that one of her shoes almost fell off.

 **“Thank** you,” they said, half Eddie and half… his Other.

Mary hugged them back, her arms looking so thin and short around their neck.

“You're welcome,” she said when they set her down. “Can we go get something to drink now?”

**“By all means.”**

~~~

After that talk, things went smoothly.

Jess and Mary introduced Eddie to their family, (omitting the Venom business, of course,) effectively throwing Jess's brother Ryan off the Tallest Sibling Throne™, and somehow managing to make Mary’s mother-in-law stop glaring at them long enough for a quick explanation about their family life.

As soon as she found out that Eddie was, in fact, a decent human being, Lady Annis Armstrong beamed and almost broke their spine by giving them a hug far stronger than her short chubby arms should be capable of. She then asked if Eddie was hungry.

“That means she has already adopted you,” Mary whispered. “It's like in fairy tales. Once you eat their food, you're stuck in their realm forever.”

They happily helped themselves to the cottage pie, the symbiote’s usual appetite making Mrs Armstrong squeal with delight.

“Such a healthy lad ye are!” she gushed in a _thick_ Scottish accent that Eddie didn't immediately understand. “Ah, I like ye already, boy. Come on, there's still come cake waitin’ o’er there. Choc ‘n’ cherry, so it is.”

**“Chocolate, Eddie!”**

Eddie laughed, allowing the Scotswoman to drag him away from the happy married couple. When they stopped by the table, she turned to them with a look that could split a mountain in two.

“If ya ever think about doin’ anythin’ that'd upset the girls, I'll slaughter ya and feed yer corpse to the pigs,” she said in the sweetest voice possible.

Venom has never, ever, been this scared in their entire life.

Eddie nodded. “I assure you, ma’am, that I have no such intent.”

She beamed again. “Good good, yer a smart lad. Cake?”

“Please, ma’am.”

She held up the knife and cut off a slice.

“Here ya go, dearie.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Remember our conversation.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Satisfied, she wandered off to find more people to feed.

Eddie stared at the place of cake they were holding. Their grip trembled ever so slightly. 

Well, at least his sister was in good hands.

~~~

They returned to New York with some souvenirs: about half a suitcase worth of tupperwared food; some souvenirs for Flash, Andi, and Dylan; a mild hangover, and a photo of Eddie lunging between the shocked bridesmaids, catching the bouquet thrown by his sister.

 **“According to the tradition, it's our turn to get married next,”** the symbiote pointed out, not even bothering to feign innocence.

Eddie nodded, looking down at the photo with a soft smile.

“Yeah,” he murmured, “I guess it is.”

Deep inside his side of their brain, a plan was already forming.


	2. Eddie

The Venom symbiote, a.k.a Love, darling, Sym, Symby et cetera, was pulled out of their rest by a wonderful, intoxicating smell they recognised even before they connected to Eddie’s already open eyes: triple chocolate chip cookies, fresh from the bakery.

They stretched, extending their form all over their shared body before coming to rest as a happy little lump behind their collarbone. A thought, a split second of painless fireworks, and their vision was connected to Eddie’s. Indeed, there was a plate resting on the bedside table next to their bed, sporting an impressive pile of still warm cookies - their favourite kind. Next to it was their favourite mug filled with, by the looks of it, cot cocoa with cream and sprinkles.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Eddie smiled, placing a hand over their resting spot. A fresh flood of phenethylamine flooded their mental link. “Did you sleep well?”

He knew that they slept as well as he did, chasing a strawberry cheesecake on spider legs in their dreams. Who knew that the damned things could be so fast? They got it in the end, but woke up just a second before Venom could sink their many, many, many… many many many teeth into it. Still, he liked to ask anyway, just to be courteous.

 **“Very well, Eddie,”** his Other replied, emerging out of his (their) shoulder to drag their tongue over his (their) lips in their favourite version of a kiss. **“Got us breakfast?”**

 _“Mhm,”_ he thought, his mouth too busy kissing back to reply out loud. _“The bakery next door didn’t have cheesecake, so I got you these; thought that we’d be hungry.”_

 **_“You spoil us, beloved,”_ ** they purred into their mind, sprouting a gooey hand to caress his bearded cheek. They loved the scratchiness of his beard; such a wonderful texture! If only he agreed to grow it out so that they could hide in it!

 _“Maybe someday,”_ he chuckled into the kiss, choosing to reply without words as his mouth was rather occupied with kissing back. As much as he'd love to go full viking, the thing could be itchy as hell sometimes. _“Now, do you want to dig in?”_

They didn't need further encouragement. Giving his (their) lips one last lick, they extended several tendrils to bring the plate and cup from the nightstand onto the bed, lifting one cookie to their toothy maw. Then they paused, and Eddie could feel the tiny intricate gears of their mind spinning as they pondered something. Eventually, they set the cookie down and dove for his lips in yet another one of their very special good morning kisses that always made their shared body feel so warm and wonderful, their mind clouded with love and joy and obscene quantities of phenethylamine.

 ** _“You're so good to me, Eddie,”_** they projected into their mind as he returned the kiss. **_“Sweeter than the cookies.”_**

 _“Only the best for you, my Love,”_ he thought back, reaching for a cookie and breaking it in half. _“You should eat, though, before they get cold.”_

They hummed in agreement, pulling away to clamp their teeth on one half of the cookie while Eddie ate the other. It wasn't a very healthy breakfast, but the bakery was open earlier on Saturdays and he liked to treat his Other with sweet little surprises like this one. He loved the joy that emanated from them every time he did so, and the satisfaction whenever he managed to actually surprise them given that they basically shared both mind and body, which made secrets and surprises somewhat difficult to pull off.

There was one surprise, however, that they'll never see coming.

The symbiote didn't catch that thought, being too busy sticking their head into the cocoa like the wonderful adorable perfect beautiful sweetheart they were, sprinkles and cream clinging to their serpentine body. He'd probably pull them into another kiss if their mouth weren't otherwise occupied.

“Leave some for dipping,” he said, holding up one cookie.

They complied, emerging and licking their smooth body clean, tong tongue flicking quickly as they licked off the sweet droplets.

After dipping the cookie so that there was still some cream clinging to it and the chocolate chips were just the right amount of melted, he held it up once more.

“Say ‘aaah.’”

Laughter lit up their brainscape like the rising sun as the symbiote opened their hungry little maw and devoured the cookie in one bite, licking Eddie’s fingers clean of any crumbs after they swallowed. At first, he thought that they were laughing at the cliché gesture, but then a thought entered his side of their brain:

**_“You have cream on your moustache.”_ **

Eddie wiped it off with a smile. _“A moustache on a moustache?”_

 **_“Moustacheception,”_ ** they replied, black goo flowing over the flesh above his upper lip to form the sort of curly moustache sported by fancy Victorian gentlemen in cartoons. You know the type.

As he saw himself through their eyes, Eddie could only think of one thing:

_“I love you more than words can describe.”_

The moustache oozed off to press another kiss to his lips.

**_“I love you more.”_ **

~~~

After breakfast, they showered and groomed Eddie's beard, wasting about half an hour just staring lovingly into the mirror, where Eddie saw Venom's reflection and the symbiote saw Eddie's, both too busy being stupidly in love to hear his phone going off and filling their apartment with the opening vocals of _“Space Cowboy”,_ signalling that Flash was calling.

After two missed calls, they somehow managed to unglue themselves from the mirror and padded to the living room, the symbiote wrapping around their body to resemble a fluffy and comfortable bathrobe.

“Hi, Fl **ash,”** they said, merging into Venom halfway through. **“What's up?”**

“Hey, guys,” their best friend replied. “Listen, Eddie, I got the thing. You know what. The thing.”

 **“The thing?”** the symbiote asked.

“The thing,” Eddie nodded. “Thanks, man, I owe you one. How's Nadarr?”

Nadarr was Flash’s new buddy, a maroon symbiote slightly darker than Carnage (but a lot nicer) with a fondness for cake and the fantasy genre. It took quite a lot of explaining to, well, explain how exactly they ended up on Earth and why Flash didn't inform Venom that the Grendel symbiote - or Tiamat, as they were now called - was alive and that it was they who were responsible for their better half’s awakening.

 **_“Not true, Eddie, you're our better half!”_ ** The symbiote projected into their thoughts, making him roll their eyes.

“Glad that they're doing better,” he said. “Now tell me something, who's the better half of Venom?”

“Symby,” Flash replied without a second of hesitation. “No offence, Eddie.”

“None taken,” he grinned. “See, darling? Flash agrees.”

 **“Liesssss,”** they hissed into the speaker, making both men laugh. **“Nadarr, your host has a horrible taste.”**

Flash’s voice changed briefly, becoming more scratchy as the other symbiote took over his vocal chords.

**“Tell me something I don't know; I have to put up with his awful fashion sense on the daily.”**

They could practically hear Flash rolling their eyes. “It's not my fault that I'm too fabulous for you to comprehend,” he sighed dramatically.

Eddie and his Other shared a look. Should they tell him…?

 **_“You break the news,”_ ** they projected into their mind.

 _“You do it, he will listen to you,”_ he countered.

**_“You're the human, you can offer him alternatives.”_ **

_“You and I both know that I leave ninety nine percent of our wardrobe choices to you.”_

**_“Touché.”_ **

_“I love it when you say this. Think it again.”_

**_“Touché?”_ **

_“Yesssss,”_ Eddie grinned. His darling still retained their Klyntar accent even after years of being on Earth. The way it combined with French and Italian was so pleasing to listen to that they could probably make a ton of money from ASMR videos, but back to the matter at hand.

“We agree with them, man,” he said out loud. “Your fashion taste _is_ kinda shit.”

There was a gasp from the other side of the phone, and a quiet squeak as Flash dramatically leaned back in his wheelchair, probably draping an arm over his eyes or something equally flashy (get it?)

“Betrayed by my closest friends!” he cried over Nadarr’s laughter. “The outrage! The horror! Whatever shall I do now?!”

 **“Burn those glittery pink crocs and scatter the ashes to the wind,”** Nadarr suggested as Venom _cringed_ at the memory of the offensive footwear. Why Flash subjected his poor prosthetics to such horrors was beyond them. **“Anyway, Edward, we have the stuff. Just tell us when to drop it off.”**

Eddie smiled, cheerfully ignoring the suspicion radiating from his Other, and replied: “Thanks, guys, I'll let you know when the right time is. For now, burn those crocs and get Nad to turn into something more sensible.”

“Will do, bye,” Flash said and ended the call, leaving Eddie smirking exactly like the smug knife cat meme under his Other’s scrutiny.

 **“What thing?”** they asked, mentally poking his side of the brain.

“It's a surprise,” he told them, quickly filing away any thoughts about it before they managed to get to them. “You'll see.”

They rolled their eyes at their beloved’s antics. Their Eddie liked to spoil them with surprises, though said surprises were seldom actually surprises due to them being able to read each other's minds. They chose not to pry, comfortable with letting whatever it was reveal itself in due time.

 **“Very well,”** they said. **“Now, the dishes.”**

It was Eddie’s turn to sigh dramatically as he stood up and headed towards the kitchen sink. “Yes, darling.”

~~~

“Did I ever tell you how happy you make me?” Eddie asked as he washed.

 **“This would be your eighth time since Monday,”** the symbiote plopped their head on top of his, settling among his hair and purring almost exactly like a cat. He’d pet them if he had more arms.

“Guess I need to up my game, then.”

**“It’s only Tuesday, beloved.”**

He laughed, wiping his hands and allowing them to flow over them until they became theirs once more - his darling wasn’t a fan of dish soap because it made them itchy, so the washing was usually his job. He didn’t particularly mind, though, because they helped with the drying.

After the washing up came work time; since Eddie was allowed to mostly work from home, they sat down by his desk and opened his laptop.

“What shall it be today?” he asked. Since it was a Saturday, they treated themselves by putting on some music as Eddie worked. Apparently instrumental scores improved one’s concentration when writing, so that’s what they went for most of the time. “Hans Zimmer? Christopher Larkin? Howard Shore?”

 **“Howard Shore!!!”** they didn’t even hesitate, they keyboard’s keys clickity-clacking as they typed _“The Lord of the Rings - complete soundtrack”_ into the YouTube search bar.

“An excellent choice as always.”

~~~

The surprise came two days later, on the first day of Summer.

The symbiote has hopped out of Eddie and into Flash as the former said something about needing to prepare and not a single word, you two! Don't ruin the surprise!

Flash and Nadarr, or Thorn as they called the entity that they made up together, nodded happily and put on _“The Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition”_ as the three of them waited, munching on popcorn and occasionally having to explain some things to Nadarr, who may or may not have started crying when _“Concerning Hobbits”_ came on - that track was basically phenethylamine in audio form.

 **“Why don't they ask the Eagles to fly them to Mordor?”** they asked between mouthfuls. **“Wouldn't that make things easier?”**

Flash winced. “Buddy, we don't have the time to mess with this can of worms,” he said, and the Venom symbiote agreed with him wholeheartedly. Their knowledge of Tolkienverse was still somewhat limited, but even they knew better than to mention the topic that tended to make the fandom go batshit.

The iconic line of _“they're taking the hobbits to Isengard”_ came on, and Thorn spat out the chocolate milk they were drinking at the memory of Dylan sending Eddie the video of his film studies class blasting the song at full volume at three in the morning in their high school's parking lot.

“Why?” Eddie had asked, wheezing.

“¯\\_(ツ)_/¯” was all that his younger brother had texted back.

The kid _was_ a teenager, after all; such harmless bullshit was better than drugs or something like that. Besides, it might have been on their last day of school? The symbiote couldn’t remember.

Eddie returned about fifteen minutes into _“The Two Towers”,_ sporting an impressive looking suit (black, of course), hair nicely combed back, and a small bouquet of red roses in one hand.

“My darling,” he bowed, extending his free hand, “would you like to accompany me for a moonlit walk?”

They laughed, detaching themselves from Flash and oozing up to him, sinking beneath his skin with a sigh of contentment. It felt like coming home, returning to the place where they truly belonged, where they felt at peace and loved. Flash was a great friend and host, but Eddie was… well, Eddie.

Eddie was their everything.

They left Flash’s place and headed out into the night, the streets of New York lit with neon lights, pink and blue and green and yellow. There were fairy lights strewn all over the trees in the nearby park, fortunately devoid of people despite the warm evening weather.

They melted into Venom after venturing a bit deeper into the park, though they still kept the tie Eddie wore with his suit, black with a pattern of white swirls all over it. Their favourite.

 _“Remember the surprise we talked about the other day?”_ he remarked casually as Venom prowled between the trees, taking them deep into the heart of the park.

**_“Mhm?”_ **

_“I’m taking us there.”_

**_“[a feeling that cannot be conveyed by words but which amounts to approximately seven hundred and eighty-six heart emojis piled on top of one another, stuffed into a box, and exploded in the face of the person who opens it, ie. Eddie.]”_ **

Venom grinned widely, looking like all those cartoony hearts should be floating around their head instead.

At last, they came to a halt in a small grove of oak trees with even more fairy lights glittering among their leaves. The trees circled a meadow absolutely strewn with small purple flowers they didn’t know the name for, above which shone thousands of stars, somewhat visible even despite New York’s light pollution. Among the flowers sat a single bench, wrought out of metal which curled into graceful and intricate shapes and patterns all the while staying comfortable to sit on.

In short, the place was magical.

The symbiote melted off Eddie, too enraptured by the beautiful place to see what the other was doing. Eddie approached the bench and reached for the thing that rested on it, wrapped in brown paper.

“Here’s the surprise, darling,” he said, pulling his Other out of their daze and unwrapping the paper.

Inside was a breathtaking bouquet of crimson roses, the delicate petals not even mussed by being wrapped in the paper for so long.

_“Not petals. Smell them.”_

They did. **_“...It’s chocolate!”_ **

Indeed, the bouquet (which was almost as large as Venom’s ribcage) was, in fact, made out of the finest chocolate roses, handmade on Flash’s request to keep the matter secret. Even the leaves and stalks were the finest milk chocolate New York had in store. It took a lot of saving up on Eddie’s part, and even more mental gymnastics to keep it a secret from his darling, but in the end, the sheer joy that practically radiated from them made it all worth it.

“All for you,” he said as they oozed out of their body to form a slightly gooier copy of Venom purely so that they could pull him into their arms and kiss him stupid, tendrils wrapping all around him to keep him in place, as if there was even the tiniest sliver of a chance that he would willingly even think of moving away.

“Darling…” he mumbled into the kiss.

**_“EddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddiesweetwonderfulEddiesogoodtomesoperfectsosweetsolovingEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieloveofmylifelightofmyvoidmysweetestmydearestEddieEddieEddieEddieEddieloveyousomuchdarlingbelovedsweetEddiesogoodsosweetsweeterthanchocolateEddieEddieEddie…”_ **

_“Honey...”_

**_“LoveyouloveyousomuchdearEddieEddieEddielovesoromanticsothoughtfulbesthostbestloverbesteverythingbestEddieloveyousomuchloveEddiesomuchlovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelo-”_ **

He smiled, managing to pull away and look up at them, towering over him and with an expression of such pure love that it made him want to kiss them again, but he had something to say.

“My darling,” he gestured for them to sit down next to the flowers and cleared his throat, the speech which he had spent countless night perfecting promptly evaporating from his mind. “My Love, I… I brought you here to tell you something important.”

 **“Oh?”** they sat up straighter, frowning just a little. Should they be worried? Was something wrong? Eddie wasn’t sick or anything; they had rearranged his biological structure a couple years’ back to make sure that no cancer even dared to take root inside him, so it wasn’t that, and even if it was, they would’ve known already. Did he do something? He was a bit of a dumbass, bless him, but he would’ve told them as well! It couldn’t have been anything bad, could it?

Seeing their concern, Eddie was quick to reassure them: “No, no! It’s nothing bad! In fact, um, it’s good, I think,” he chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. Crap, maybe it would’ve been better to convey it all with thoughts? Now that those word he was getting paid for sticking together wouldn’t fucking cooperate, the speech didn’t seem as much of a good idea, but re-bonding would be awkward, so fuck it.

“Love, you know that I love you more than anything,” he began. “You’re the best thing to ever come into my life, and I cannot express how happy you make me. We’ve had our ups and downs since we met in that church, but we worked through them, still are working through them. I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything in the world, and while I’m coping a bit better when you’re not around,” the memories from after their fight with Knull flashed before his eyes, “I would much rather like to have you by my side for as long as you will have me. “

“I’m by no means a perfect man,” he carried on, “but I’m getting there, would like to get there one day. For you. You’ve made me a better man in so many ways, helped me brave through my demons, which means to me more than I can tell you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, even Anne, and…” oh God, there it was.

“And I…” he fell on his knees before them, soul bared and blue-green eyes glittering with tears. “I have nothing to give to you, my Love, more than myself, yet I give you everything. Everything I can, even if it isn’t mine to give. Tell me your desire and I will make it a reality even if you asked me to bring the moon down from the sky. I would do anything, give anything, to keep you with me, but in the end the choice is yours.”

He pulled out a single black rose, real this time, and in a voice choked with emotions, said “Our bond already transcends all understanding but…but I’d just like to make it official for all to see.” He swallowed, then steadied his racing heartbeat and said the words he’s been meaning to utter all evening.

“My Love, will you marry me?”

The symbiote gazed at him in absolute and utter shock, the chocolate rose they were holding falling from their suddenly limp grasp.

And just as Eddie was beginning to panic, just as he was about to stand up and apologise, they leapt out of their seat, crashing into them and sending the two of them flying backwards, the back of Eddie’s suit dirtied by mud and grass as they pinned him to the ground and, with joyful tears streaming from their eyes, pressed a kiss to his lips that made him see stars. At the same time, they projected a thought so loud that, if verbal, it would shatter the eardrums of all New Yorkers.

And that thought, dear reader, was

**_“YES!”_ **

~~~

 _“Eddie_ has left 1 voicemail”

 _“Eddie and Sym_ has left 1 voicemail”

 _“Brøther_ has left 1 voicemail”

Mary, Flash and Dylan held their phones to their ears, listening to the slightly static-y sound of sniffling and laughter, followed by a loud, absolutely overjoyed

“GUYS THEY SAID YES!!!”

~~~

Of course, just like every engaged couple, they had to get rings.

 **_“This one, Eddie!”_ ** the symbiote pointed at the pattern on the page they had printed out. They had the idea of getting their ring tattooed onto Eddie’s finger so that it wouldn’t get in the way when they were Venom. Eddie loved it, and instantly scrapped his plans of a simple golden band with a black onyx in the middle (the gold symbolising him and the onyx his Other) and thought that their bands should be interwoven, one designed picked by him and the other by them: two distinct parts making up something beautiful together, just like the two of them made up Venom. The thought made him smile.

“Alright,” he said, circling the design with a sharpie. It was beautiful, sort of like tiny vines braided together, with little leaves and all. Eddie’s half was a bit simpler: a band with Old English runes running around it, spelling out _“Venom.”_ The plan was to get those after the priest Mary had recommended them got their union officially recognised.

Father Taliesin was a strange but pleasant fellow, younger than they expected him to be - barely into his thirties. He hailed from Ireland and was a devoted space enthusiast. He has always believed that God has made more than just the human race (especially since Earth has been through a couple of invasions) and nothing would make him happier than officiating their marriage. So happy, in fact, that it had turned him incoherent for a good twenty minutes as they discussed the matter over the phone.

“He’s a dear,” Mary had told them over the sound of Jess chattering about flower arrangements. “A bit on the eccentric side, but a dear nonetheless. He won’t tell a soul if you don’t want him to.”

To say that Flash was happy to be their best man would be like saying that the surface of the Sun was slightly warm. He was overjoyed, hopping with joy when Nadarr was wrapped around his prosthetics and vibrating happily when they weren’t. He had almost hugged the life out of Venom when they returned to his place, actually lifting them up in the air a bit with Nadarr’s help as he blabbed on how happy he was for the two of them and he knew a great place for the reception and it was going to be just them, Mary and Jess, and Dylan, right? Because there’s this amazing restaurant with the BEST desserts in the world and they also do custom wedding cakes and HOLY CRAP DO I GET TO MAKE A SPEECH?! **Please calm down before you work yourself up into a heart attack.**

Jess had advised them not to mention that they were planning a wedding because that made everyone they spoke to up the prices, fucking bastards the lot of them. Anyways, if they were going to keep things simple, she could help with designing the cake and pick out the flowers for the vase, because there wouldn’t be a lot of people so there was no point in spending tons of money Eddie didn’t have for a huge venue; a single table would suffice.

“I agree,” Eddie had said into the phone as his Other draped themselves over him like a blanket and purred happily into his other ear. “Large weddings always made me feel weird.” He was too big and awkward for that sort of thing, thank you very much.

There was some planning, designing, taste-testing, and a whole lot of smooching, but we’ll skip past that and riiiiight to the good stuff. Namely, a church in San Franci…

~~~

Dylan looked up from failing to tie his bowtie and locked eyes with the vaguely humanoid blob of green and black goo standing behind him.

“Hello, uncle,” it said.

He raised his eyebrows.

~~~

Okay, there we go. Where were we, dear reader? Oh yes, in a very certain church in San Francisco, where two lost souls had once found each other and were about to become one in the eyes of God.

There were Flash and Nadarr, Andi and the Mania symbiote, Mary and Jess who flew over for the weekend, and Dylan.

 **“You didn’t think that I would miss my parents’ wedding?”** he said in a completely different voice.

Pardon me, Dylan _and_ Sleeper.

**_“Thank you.”_ **

You’re welcome, honey. Anyway, there they all were, seated in pews inside this otherwise empty building with the priest’s voice echoing around them.

“We have gathered here,” he was saying, balancing on the thin, _thin_ line between a serious priest and a stupidly excited loser who can’t wait to marry this dude and his alien lover together!!! “to join these two wonderful souls,” he gestured at Eddie standing before him with his Other wrapped around him to resemble a perfectly tailored suit, “in marriage before the eyes of God.”

Mary sniffled, feeling Jess’s hand slip into hers in reassurance. To think that she got to see her little brother standing before the altar…

“Do you, Edward Brock,” continued the priest, struggling with all his might not keep a wide, excited grin off his face, “take the Venom symbiote, as yours and yours alone, part of your body and soul in the eyes of our Lord? Do you swear to love them from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

Eddie nodded, tears of pure joy streaming down his face.

“I do,” he said.

“Do you,” the priest then referred to the symbiote, “take Edward Brock as yours and yours alone, part of your body and soul in the eyes of our Lord? Do you swear to love him from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

They raised their head from where it was resting on Eddie’s shoulder.

“I do,” they said.

“In that case,” Taliesin could no longer keep a grin off his face, “I, father Taliesin, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit…” God, he’s been looking to saying this all week. “...pronounce you Venom.”

With that, the top half of Eddie’s suit melted off him to kiss him, enveloping him in the process until they became one once more, Venom’s laughter echoing in the quiet church, fortunately loudly enough to drown out Flash’s sobbing.

~~~

 **“I’m glad that I came to Earth on time,”** Sleeper said during the dinner in _“The Starway”,_ a small but cosy restaurant where they held their mini-reception. **“I came to see what the business with the dragon was about, but this delights me more than solving the puzzle.”**

“The dragon is a bit of a long story,” Eddie smiled, one hand jabbing at the potatoes on his plate while the other held on to his darling’s hand which emerged from inside his sleeve, thumb brushing over their smooth skin. They haven’t let go since they left the church. “How much did Dylan tell you?”

“That you almost blew yourselves up,” Dylan piped in. “Spiderman was there, too, right? The new one.”

“Morales, yeah,” he nodded, feeding his beloved darling a forkful of mashed potato with gravy, an absolutely idiotic smile stretched on both their lips. “We’ll clue you in after dinner.”

**“Very well.”**

Mary and Jess were looking at the black, green and red bowtie around Dylan’s neck with fascination.

“So, are we your aunts?” Mary raised her eyebrows. “Venom never mentioned that they have kids.”

The symbiote sucked in air through their teeth with a hiss. **“An even longer story.”**

“Aaaaanyway,” Flash stood up, “can I make a speech before things get awkward?”

Andi and the hairband nestled in her violet hair rolled their eyes with a black-lipped smile.

“Please indulge him,” they said. “He’s been practising since you guys announced your engagement.” which implies that he had the thing ready before that, but we won’t delve into that.

Eddie and his Other nodded. The rest of the guests politely set their cutlery down and waited.

Flash cleared his throat, rolled his eyes at something Nadarr said, and began:

“Alright, so if you guys don’t know me yet, I’m Flash.” He paused. “No, not the speedy guy in a red unitard.”

“Are you sure?” Dylan squinted at him suspiciously, and Jess snorted into her drink.

Flash scratched his cheek. “You know what? Not really. But this isn’t about me, it’s about the two idiots sitting in front of me, so sweet and happy that I can feel my teeth disintegrating in my mouth as we speak.”

 **“Can confirm,”** Nadarr chimed in as Eddie and his Other smiled at each other. **“Oops, there go his molars.”**

“You guys will pay for my dental once this is over,” he warned with a wide grin that denied his words. “Now buckle up because those are going to be the longest six minutes of your life.”

“I’ve met Symby a couple years’ back. We went to space together, as you do. We had a rocky start, but in the end, we evened out and I hope that we became good buds. In fact, they’re my best friend and the best catch in the cosmos, so Eddie is darn lucky to have the honour of sharing a body with them.”

“Eddie, I’ve known for a bit shorter, but he’s like a brother to me. A big, stupidly strong brother who creeps into my kitchen at three in the morning eats all the chips.” He held up a finger. “Yes, Edward, I know about that. I may be a dumbass, but I’m not blind. Symby isn’t off the hook, either; even you wouldn’t be able to eat all those Cheetos on your own, my man.”

“Despite your flaws, you guys are the greatest people I’ve met in my life (and I’ve met a god, so that says a lot) and I’m so happy to see you so obscenely happy together, as well as to see you surrounded by friends and family who genuinely love you, because God knows that your life has been a streak of spectacular trainwrecks.”

“A bit of an understatement,” Eddie chimed in.

“Yeah, but you’ve pulled through… somehow. Probably by the power of love like in a Sailor Moon episode. Say, did you guys ever consider a magical girl-style transformation into Venom? You should do that sometime.”

Dylan almost inhaled his drink through his nose. Flash looked down at him with a smile and ruffled his hair.

“You have great siblings, Brock,” he nodded to Mary. “Shame that your sister got all the good looks, though. I’m glad that you two aren’t as alone in the world as you used to be, and that you honour me by keeping me in your life.” He sniffled, feeling his eyes well up. “I love you two and seeing you here, happy and married like you goddamn deserve to be, is a proof that the polluted wet mudball we call a planet hasn’t yet gone to the dogs and there is some joy in there after all. Out of everyone in this room, you two deserve this happiness the most.”

He wiped his eyes, ignoring Mania’s **“aaaaaaawwwwww”** before continuing.

“I see the way you look at each other, and how happy Symby is with you, Eddie - happier than they ever were with me. You make each other better, more rounded people, and your Venom really does put Space Agent Venom to shame. I wish ours had had teeth.” He sniffled as Nadarr wiped some of his tears with a tendril. “I’m just… goddamnit, yeah I’m crying about my two best friends tying the knot because you’re such wonderful people who fit together like two pieces of a giant, toothy jigsaw and I’m just so happy that you two made it this far, and hope that you’ll make it even further.”

Raising a flute of champagne, he finished the speech with a toast:

“To Venom, the best eight foot tall walking marriage with more teeth than a toothpaste ad, and to their long and happy life together!”

~~~

And just like that, dear reader, our idiots got officially married. Since this isn’t Catesverse, they will live happily ever after with their many friends and family, happy and in love until… well, I’d say until the rest of their days, but I don’t think they’re allowed to die because otherwise there would be no comics, so I guess forever?

 **“Yes,”** Venom sighed as they lied in bed on the first day of their honeymoon, with two wedding bands freshly tattooed on their left ring finger beneath layers of black goo. **“Forever sounds good.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to squeeze in a proper reunion with Sleeper, but alas, it didn't quite make it into the fic. Feel free to imagine it yourself and make it as happy and cheesy as you wish it to be.


End file.
